From time to time, I would get a $17 payment here or there and in really good times, I might see a payment come through as large as $75. Though, that was rare. By the time Chris had graduated from high school, she had about $24,000 in arears. Each month, California adds onto that amount $117 in interest and penalties. Today, she owes - if I'm not mistaken - nearly $43,000. I haven't checked the actual balance in quite some time. Though, it's in that ballpark.

Then, on December 6th, I get this text message. (Bold text is her messages to me. Itallic text is my messages to her)

Cathy:
Pete child support just served me and I have a court hearing on the fifth of February my balance is high now and I could be put in jail. because the balance is over 35000 please call me right away okay. I am in school full-time now getting my associates for health care admin. And I don't need this getting in the way of school. Now you can help by getting this court date cancelled please. Call me after 3 OK thanks

She continues...
You know Pete it's really hard to get on my feet when child support keeps knocking me out them anyway you can help me I'd really appreciate it I'm in school right now so call me after 3 p.m. my time thank you

She continues...
I will call you on Saturday regarding papers for child support okay I'm studying for my finals this week and I need to get focus on that since finals are tomorrow. I will talk to you then thank you bye.

She continues on a different day...
Good morning. I am going to go to child support next week to see if I can get a hardship hearing. Hopefully they won't arrest me for the balance that I owe. If you get contact the office on your end and ask them to close the case or ask that arrears be waived along with interest that would lower the balance owed. That would help me Pete. See what you can do please. Thanks Cathy

Pete:
I told you last time that I will not waive any arrears. You know that.

I continue...
The most I'm willing to do is ask that they not take any action while you are in school. I expect you to pay for the 15+ years of child support that you failed to pay while I raised our son without your help.

Cathy:
OK that is true I am trying thou. Can you ask to have interest waived that's 21000 off the 45000 that's owed. And while in school not to force the order. If I get back to work b4 school than I will make my 100. Payment to u each mo. The interest that is charged mo is 117.00. So if that is waived my balance won't get any higher than the 24000 that is owed to you for support. Do what you can please. I promise to not flake ever again on our son. K.

Pete:
I've never given anyone a $21k gift before and I don't intend to make you the first. I will be willing to ask them not to prosecute you while you are in school. Once you are working, you can make larger payments than $100

Cathy:
Yeah OK anyway I am going next week to still do the hardship papers. So you know you always made more than enough to support Chris and now sure its the same so there is a legal way I can ask for your income verification so to prove to courts you do not need what little money I may make or have. So that's my option get legal help OK than

Pete:
Indeed. Do what you must.

Cathy:
You were the one offering me help not like the 21000 grand comes out of your pocket I will still owe 24000 in arrears. So the offer you made to help me is just with child support issues. Do not know what more you want from me. Not like I will ever be able to pay all the money owed anyway. But I will do my best for I already am with Chris and my grandaughters that's what matters

Pete:
My offer explicitly said, "other than $ of course".

The money DID come out of my pocket over the course of the many years that you failed to comply with the meager $241/month order. Plus, you went further and refused to file tax returns so that I couldn't get that money, either. Don't blame me when 20 years of bad decisions come back to bite you in the ass. I don't owe you anything -including favors.

Cathy:
I could never afford 241.00 that's and never made much to file taxes. I don't want to argue the issue your right I never did my part with money but that is why I let you keep Chris cause I knew could not provide for him so making a decision to let you was not bad really cause you did a GREAT job and he is a GOOD man because of my decision 20 years ago. Let that sink in for awhile.

Pete:
You could never pay $241/month because it wasn't important to you. That paltry amount of money could have been earned by working just 12 hours per week at $5 per hour. I regularly worked 60 hrs per week while raising Chris. I would have worked two jobs if I needed to. He was/is that important to me.

Sure seems important to you today, though.

Today, I get this..

She continues...
Pete put yourself in my shoes please. I will not ask again and screw it i need to be focusing on school not this shit. If you will not cancel the order than oh well they can put me in jail. Been there already could use another vacation. Still will not get no money so if thats what you want then fine. I would have never done this to you thats why i gave you custody. Remember HOPE YOUR HAPPY MAKING ME GO THROUGH THIS SHIT..

Pete:
Twenty three years of bad decisions on your part is the reason you are going through this. Take responsibility for your actions and stop trying to blame me. All I did was raise our son without you. All you did was punish him.

Time to grow up.

Cathy:
Yeah whatever pete. I am grown enough to know who is acting like idiot through all this. Asking for you to stop this was nit a bad idea considering i thought you had a heart idiot. You are to blame for this shit and i will blame you if this shit gets in the way of me getting my damn degree too.

Pete:
Blame me in one hand, and shit in the other hand. See which one fills up first.

Cathy:
What kind of man takes a woman to court for child support anyway? You are not real man and this child support case proves that. A real man would never do this to the mother of the child knowing she had no money to begin with. And you could still help and just close the case so that i can get on with like. If i can not drive or finish school because of this then you will not get nithing anyway. Do you just like holding this on me? I am doing what you asked and i have been in contact with my son and even sending what i can in cards on holidays. What more can i do? Please i hate being mean and i just need your help on this. I am sorry for talking shit but i am trying to write an compare and contrast essay and the letter from dmv just fucked up my train if thought.

She continues...
I have to get this essay done by friday. Can we talk Saturday about this please ok. Work with me ok. Thanks gotta go